The Case For Sobriety

The Case For Sobriety
I. Preamble
I have been asked many times in my life if I'd "like a beer" or some other spiritual libation. I reply graciously, with a "No thanks. I'm good." I'm then often asked why I don't want one, and sometimes immediately asked if it's for "religious" reasons that I refused (keep that in mind - had I declined a Hostess snack cake, the same question would surely not have been asked). So, for posterity's sake, I decided to put my reasoning down in this journal, should they or anyone else need an answer as to why they choose not to imbibe.

II. The Question - Part I
"Why don't you drink?" There it is. The first half of the question. I actually didn't say that I don't drink, I just said that I didn't want a beer, or a drink. While I appreciate the offer, in social settings, I find it works more to my advantage to NOT be the drunk retard at the party. I went to college at UGA for a few years, and my house was "party central" for at least two of those. I had plenty of time to observe the effects of alcohol - whether beer, cheap table wine, "hunch punch," or any and
every other liquor - on both the behavior and the lives of my friends and neighbors, as well as random strangers.

III. AnecdotesHere's a few tales to embody my stance on public drinking:
a. The Pinch of Salt
Athens, 1998. I come home from work to yet another party. I park my 1991 Ford Escort, come in the front door, and begin greeting friends and meeting new people. I make my way to the back door, to find my boy, one of my roommates. Instantly, I'm met on the back porch by some guy I've never seen before, who initiates dialog with "Who the hell are you?" I swallow my pride and humbly respond, "My name is Justin. I live here. Who are you?" He immediately apologizes, but not for the brash welcome. "Oh, man. Dude, I am so sorry. I threw up on your couch. I tried to clean it...I'll buy you a new one." As the story goes, he'd been drinking since he'd gotten there, and and some point, had blown down the inside of the loveseat arm. I won't delve into the regurgital details, as they're largely unimportant for this purpose, but suffice it to say that after a whole bottle of Resolve upholestry cleaner, the couch still had a slight gouda smell any time the temperature in the apartment approached 80 degrees. As the night progresses, the guy kept drinking more and more, but out
of the same bottle. I start to wonder if he's found the legendary "bottomless bottle," a sacred artifact among collegiate types. I ask friend of mine (who had actually brought this guy to my house), "The bottom of that bottle has spent more time pointed towards the celing than not. What's going on?" He replies, "Dude...we keep taking turns pissing in the bottle, and he's so drunk that he's DRINKING IT!!" Disgusting, right? Well, that's really only half of the story - the half that's fit to print. At any rate, he's drinking other people's urine, and is "toasting" to everything in sight (i.e. a commercial came on tv and there was a Merle Hagggard song playing in the background - "Hell yeah! To Merle Haggard!!" ). At the end of the evening (for me, at least), I decided to retire, for work would come early the next morning. As I'm climbing the steps to my bedroom, and I hear the drunkard shout, "Who put a PINCH of salt in my drink?! Who put a PINCH of salt in my drink?!..." I learned the next morning that his friend backed out with the car door open and knocked him to the ground. Now how could his situation have been different had he not been drunk? Maybe he wouldn't have puked on my couch. Maybe he wouldn't have made a total and complete fool of himself. Perhaps he wouldn't have drank other people's bodily waste for several hours. Maybe he could have made some friends or been remembered for something other than a story on a blog.

(As supporting evidence, I would like to present Exhibit A, which clearly shows that the gentleman in the center is drinking heavily from a bottle of what he thinks is Southern Comfort. Note the expressions on the faces of those surrouding him in the picture, as they're in on the gag...)

b. It's the Thought That Counts
Valdosta, 2001. A friend of mine at work a few years ago was complaining about the manner in which she and her boyfriend spent valentine's day. I personally have serious objections to the bloated, completely commercial farse of a celebration that is Valentine's Day, but that's just me. She had bought him something that he'd wanted, like a video game or some mudflaps for his truck or whatever. What upset her was that he didn't buy her anything, because it was at the end of a
pay period, and he didn't have any money. That's understandable, right? Although, if he "loved" her like he said he did, he could've set aside a few dollars before the week got started and maybe not ate at fast food restaurants every meal of every day. I mean, you can get a decent pair of earrings for $10 at target, and can even find them on sale for $4 sometimes. Back to the lecture at hand, the proverbial "straw" was that he brought over a 6 pack of mini liqour bottles, and then proceeded to drink 5 of them. So he can't buy his girlfriend a small gift - a token of his "love" - but he makes sure that he can buy alcohol. Needless to say, they ended up parting ways. Unfortunately, it took her close to a year to see what a waste of time the guy was.

c. The Skatepark
Athens, 1999. In college, I was the only one in my townhouse of 5 people who had a full-time job (I was also the only one who'd been kicked out of college, and needed to work to support myself). My place was "party central," and I remember early one morning (2:45 am) when I'd been unable to get to sleep because of the noise. I was on the bottom floor by myself, and the party was on the second floor/third floor and the back deck. A guy that I'd been friends with in high school was regaling some of the partygoers with a story. I couldn't make out most of it, but it must have been the high point of the story when he repeatedly screamed, "I'll see you at the skate park, mother f-----r! I'll see you at the skate park, mother f-----r!" Finally, he called a girl on the phone (this is around 2am), and was talking all kinds of nonsense, which I could hear through the ceiling/floor. I picked up the phone and waited quietly for him to take a good long pause. When my moment arrived, I said, very firmly and slowly (so that he could understand, as his faculties were noticeably impaired), "Dave - If I hear you shouting one more time, I am going to cut your head off. Good night." He said, "Good night." and hung up the phone. To this day, I have no clue whether he knew who was talking to him over the
phone, but I still don't care much to even think about him. It's worth noting that we also had a video game in the place where you could "create" a wrestler. Someone else (not me) modified a wrestler and named it "Drunk Dave the Tard." The wrestler was an edit of "Big Hawk Hanna," a native american wrestler, and he was modified to be wearing flesh colored tights, so it looks like he comes running in naked. We were all playing one day, and Dave just happens to be over there when his character comes running down the aisle, and it says "Drunk Dave the Tard" across the screen. He says, "Hey, who is that supposed to be?" Cue the cricket sounds...

IV. The Question - Part II (i.e. "The Better Half")
"Is it for religious reasons?"This is a good example of where the logical path of brain -> mouth should be utilized. I don't necessarily want to reply with a "Yes." and leave it at that. While that is an acceptable reply, it can give the impression of a holier-than-thou kind of attitude, and actually is a nice opening to expound a bit on my Christianity. I don't believe that getting drunk can bring me closer to God. As a Christian, I seek ultimate guidance from God, and look towards the Bible on matters such as these. The bible mentions "strong drink" several times, and gives an overall unfavorable picture of the inebriated.

One of my favorite verses when looking at this issue is Romans 14:21. "It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to stumble." It doesn't say that you can't eat meat, or that you can't eat wine, but it is better NOT to, if it can cause your brother to stumble. Basically, if you're doing something that is going to get in the way of someone else's relationship with God, it's better not to do it, even if it's not wrong in God's eyes.

Later on, in Ephesians 5:18, Paul says, "And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit." In that chapter, he say not to be "drunk with wine." If you read the chapter, he has a pattern of saying, "Don't do , but instead do ." The drunk with wine would classify as the "bad" in that sentence.

One last one, Romans 13:13 says, "Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature." Here, drunkenness is being grouped with all sorts of other immoralities. To me, that makes it clear as to what is right or wrong.

All that said, I don't think it is wrong to have a glass of wine with dinner, if you're in close company and not among strangers or in public. On the same note, I guess a beer would be okay, too. The only misgivings I hold towards that, is that buying it to drink supports the alcohol trade, which is responsible for the problems I list in the next section.

V. Observations on Intoxication
Why are things "funny" if alcohol is involved, but stupid if the person is sober? A manager at a store where I worked told me, "One night, I had some Jagermeister and walked home. At least, I started walking home, but then I decided to sleep under someone's SUV parked in their driveway. When they started the car in the morning, backed out of the driveway and saw me lying there, they freaked out." Is that funny? Why? Would it be funny if you (or your wife) backed out of the driveway and saw someone lying there, or could see them under the car as you were walking up to it? Of course not. Would it make it funny if they were drunk? Nope.

Alcohol is the cause of many hardships. The scenarios are repeated so often that no one can keep up with it all. I've seen alcohol destroy friendships, marriages, careers, and of course, lives:
- A kid who went to high school with me was drunk and driving his car down the road, when he crossed the median and hit a minivan. I'm not sure if the people in the van were hurt, but he was killed.
- A friend that I worked for at a recording studio drove home drunk from a bar one night after seeing a local band. He blew through a stoplight and hit another car. The guy in the car was killed, and my friend wasn't even hurt, which I'm both thankful for and infuriated at.
- Some people I work with recently were on a work-related trip, and one person's inability to live without alcohol, even at the expense of inconveniencing her travel partners caused a huge rift in their relationship that is still not repaired.
- People I was friends with in high school turned into completely different people in college, because they were constantly drunk and obnoxious. As a result, they ended up hanging out with people who acted just like them, and ended up getting hurt.
- People I know cheated on their girlfriends/boyfriends/spouses, and they say it's because they were drunk. It's really because they were stupid and put themselves into the situation where that could happen, but I won't deny them that alcohol really hampers your ability to make good decisions.
- A lady I work with is apt to lose her job if she ever gets caught coming into work late because she's drunk, and then lying and saying she's going to give blood, so she gets 4 hours paid leave. Not only that, but she is COSTANTLY griping about not having enough money, but has an alcohol budget of $100 or more a month.

VI. In Conclusion
In light of the stories I just told, I believe my reasons for abstaining from social public drinking can be whittled down to about 6 points:
1) People typically drink to excess (to get drunk).
2) People who are drunk do not make better decisions than they would if they were sober.
3) People who are drunk are not cooler, or a better person than they are when they're sober. Have you ever seen someone who's just a type A, loud, obnoxious flaming butthole, that gets drunk and mellows out and is kinder and polite to people? Of course not. If, for some strange reason, you are more likeable when you are toasted, then you may want to work on your regular personality.
4) My parents are largely of the same mind as I, and would be sorely disappointed if I should surry the family name, and much moreso if I shoudl ge thurt or hurt someone else as a reuslt of being drunk, which can easily be totally avoided.
5) I have to set an example for the women in my life. I have a little sister, teenage cousins, a wife, a daughter, and female friends. I also know how often drunk women/girls get taken advantage of. I don't want that to happen to any of them, and I can't preach it if I don't live it, so I don't do the social drinking.
6) "Birds of a feather," "a man's face is reflected in the friends he chooses," etc. If I'm seen publicly drinking alcohol, then in most people's eyes, I'm lumped in with everyone else who drinks - a drunkard. That would ruin the credibility of my witness for God.

Can anything good (and I mean really truly good) come from drinking? If not, then why do it? If not, then you're doing it for some other reason - more than likely to "fit in" or gain acceptance from other people. Will they not accept you without a beer in your hand? Is it too tough to be different? God loves you, with or without the beer. Isn't that the kind of love you want, a love with no limits?